I don't even know what to write today, but since I promised to post more often and it has been a couple of weeks, I decided I better do something. It may be a rambling mess of unrelated words without meaning and purpose. Oh, well.
Victoria and Zachary went away for the weekend, so Bruce and I are getting brief, sneak peak of what 'empty nest' is all about. It was quiet here last night and we enjoyed watching television together without kids bothering us. But it was quiet around here last night. I looked at their rooms as I went to bed and wondered how they were doing. They did call to say good night, but there is something about knowing they are safe in their own beds that gives a mother some peace.
Even the kitties knew something was different. Felix cried out several times throughout the evening, and wandered around the house as if he were looking for them. He ran upstairs a couple times, just to see if they were up there. He missed them. Tigger, too.
In less than five months Victoria will be heading off to college and even though she is probably going to go to a school just a few miles down the road, she will stay on campus. Her room will be empty most nights and I'll have just Zack to annoy on a daily basis.
I'm so proud of her, though, and I know she will be very successful. She has worked very hard throughout her school career and she has been very responsible with her college preparation. Her outstanding academics has earned her easy admission to her choice schools and a number of excellent scholarship offers. She's won several scholarships and has recently learned that she is in the top 20 (not 20%, but 20) of her graduating class (about 300). She's also a talented actress, recently won awards at local and district competitions. Her school's play is headed to Regionals next week, just one step away from State. I suspect Victoria will be successful in whatever she decides to do.
At least it will be a few years until Zack runs away to college.
I do have to admit that it is nice to have more time on my hands. I'm working harder at writing. Just a few more weeks to complete an assignment for Augsburg Fortress Press, a fifteen day series for "Christ in our Home" quarterly devotional. I had an article published in a magazine about twenty years ago, but this is my first real chance at publication. The pay isn't great, but it is a foot in a door and a boost to my confidence. There are days when I write A WORD FOR TODAY that I think it is ridiculous that I'm even trying. The devotion seems to me to have little or no value whatsoever and yet, those are the very days that someone says that they were touched by what I wrote. I haven't pursued anything beyond my posts on the Internet because I've wondered who would even want to pay to read what I have to write. Now I've seen that maybe someone does want to hear what I have to say.
I've been a stay-at-home mom for so long that I guess sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to do anything else. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that being a mom is very important and that the successes of my children are directly attributable to my nurturing and care. But being a mom is a temporary position in a sense. We are always mothers, because we always have children, but as they grow older they have to step out into the world and make it on their own. They won't need me very much longer, at least not as they've needed me during their childhood, and I will have to find a life beyond them.
I guess this is my time for discovering who I am and what I'm called to do next.
God has a plan.
I do so hope that He'll let me in on it very soon.
