It's been months....

Yes, I know. It's been MONTHS since I have posted on the blog. Things have been very crazy for me right now, and I'm finally getting a chance to breathe.

Between Theatre, Key Club, and school, things have been very hectic in my life. Our play did make it past Regional and on to State contest (I saw that mom wrote about that in one of her earlier blogs), so I still had rehearsals until the end of April when we competed (by the way, we did take the championship, so it was a VERY exciting weekend for all of us in our house, and in our school!). We still have a couple of more performances this week, mostly for family, friends, and teachers at school, so we still haven't put away all of the set pieces, costumes, and props. However, I don't have after school rehearsals anymore, and I'm finding it hard to figure out what to do with all of my free time! :)

I still have lots of May obligations, though. The other day mom wrote down a list of every banquet, ceremony, and event we have to be at. It all starts on Monday, with Honors Night at school, and then I have other academic banquets, along with theatre banquet, and other receptions and ceremonies for the various scholarships I have received. On top of that, I have all of my IB testing and AP testing within the next two weeks starting on Monday. Whew. It's going to be a crazy month, but there's only one month left until graduation. I can't wait!

It's hard to believe that my senior year is almost over, but I can't wait to graduate and get on with my life. It's sad to believe that I have finally finished high school, but I can't wait to go on to college (and neither can all of my friends... lol)! It is going to be a fun and exciting time. I have finally made it through high school and survived, and that's really all that matters! :)

Love and best wishes to you all,

Vicki :)

Freshman Year

Hey!! I know it has been a long time since I've blogged, but it feels good to be back! My first year of high school has been pretty hectic. I am in a program known as the International Baccalaureate, which is close to the AP program, though a little harder. I made the Varsity golf team this year and lettered, along with Key Club, also. I have also become a pledge for the International Thespian Society, and a member of our school's Chess Club. Being in high school has had it's drawback, too. Changing guitar lessons to Monday, having golf practice after school, and becoming active in our new church's youth group has given me a hard time managing time for leisurley activities. I work through it though, and it has been a blast. Making new friends, learning new things, and one year less until GRADUATION!!!!

I don't even know

I don't even know what to write today, but since I promised to post more often and it has been a couple of weeks, I decided I better do something. It may be a rambling mess of unrelated words without meaning and purpose. Oh, well.

Victoria and Zachary went away for the weekend, so Bruce and I are getting brief, sneak peak of what 'empty nest' is all about. It was quiet here last night and we enjoyed watching television together without kids bothering us. But it was quiet around here last night. I looked at their rooms as I went to bed and wondered how they were doing. They did call to say good night, but there is something about knowing they are safe in their own beds that gives a mother some peace.

Even the kitties knew something was different. Felix cried out several times throughout the evening, and wandered around the house as if he were looking for them. He ran upstairs a couple times, just to see if they were up there. He missed them. Tigger, too.

In less than five months Victoria will be heading off to college and even though she is probably going to go to a school just a few miles down the road, she will stay on campus. Her room will be empty most nights and I'll have just Zack to annoy on a daily basis.

I'm so proud of her, though, and I know she will be very successful. She has worked very hard throughout her school career and she has been very responsible with her college preparation. Her outstanding academics has earned her easy admission to her choice schools and a number of excellent scholarship offers. She's won several scholarships and has recently learned that she is in the top 20 (not 20%, but 20) of her graduating class (about 300). She's also a talented actress, recently won awards at local and district competitions. Her school's play is headed to Regionals next week, just one step away from State. I suspect Victoria will be successful in whatever she decides to do.

At least it will be a few years until Zack runs away to college.

I do have to admit that it is nice to have more time on my hands. I'm working harder at writing. Just a few more weeks to complete an assignment for Augsburg Fortress Press, a fifteen day series for "Christ in our Home" quarterly devotional. I had an article published in a magazine about twenty years ago, but this is my first real chance at publication. The pay isn't great, but it is a foot in a door and a boost to my confidence. There are days when I write A WORD FOR TODAY that I think it is ridiculous that I'm even trying. The devotion seems to me to have little or no value whatsoever and yet, those are the very days that someone says that they were touched by what I wrote. I haven't pursued anything beyond my posts on the Internet because I've wondered who would even want to pay to read what I have to write. Now I've seen that maybe someone does want to hear what I have to say.

I've been a stay-at-home mom for so long that I guess sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to do anything else. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that being a mom is very important and that the successes of my children are directly attributable to my nurturing and care. But being a mom is a temporary position in a sense. We are always mothers, because we always have children, but as they grow older they have to step out into the world and make it on their own. They won't need me very much longer, at least not as they've needed me during their childhood, and I will have to find a life beyond them.

I guess this is my time for discovering who I am and what I'm called to do next.

God has a plan.

I do so hope that He'll let me in on it very soon.

ALLELUJAH!

Allelujah means "Praise the Lord." We sing it in so many ways on Resurrection Day. Yet, the day is still filled with fear. In Matthew's account, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. As they approached, there was a violent earthquake and an angel appeared before them. He rolled back the stone and sat on it. This was such a frightening sight that the soldiers that had been placed at the tomb to guard it ran away. The women were also afraid. The angel assured them that all was well. "Do not be afraid. Go, tell the disciples that Jesus has been raised and that He will meet them in Galilee. As they ran from the tomb, Jesus suddenly met them in the path. "Greetings," He said. Can you imagine how perfectly wonderful that greeting would sound to your ears, while also sounding perfectly frightening. The women had never experienced such an amazing thing. Even the raising of Lazarus was nothing compared to what they were seeing in their path. The only one who could have raised Jesus from the dead was dead Himself! And yet, here He was, standing before them. Was He really alive? Was it a ghost? Was it someone diguised as Jesus to fool the women into taking them to the hiding place of the disciples? I imagine all these things ran through their head.

However, they recognized Him, clasped His feet and worshipped Him. Jesus knew they were still afraid. In their joy they still did not fully understand what was happening. He reached out and touched them to the very depths of their emotions. "Do not be afraid." He repeated the command and the promise, "Go tell the disciples. I will meet them in Galilee."

When we are afraid, Jesus reaches out to us, also, in our joy and in our fear. He reminds us that He is with us. He reminds us of His command. And He reminds us of His promise.

We have so much to fear in this world. As Christians, we also fear the response of non-Christians to the message we have to bring, even though it is a message of forgiveness and grace. We are afraid to share that message. Jesus meets us on the road. Greets us warmly. Reveals Himself to us. He reminds us not to be afraid and He tells us to Go! He is faithful. And in His faithfulness we can go forth in faith without fear to share the Good News.

ALLELUJAH!

Missed another one

Well, I missed my blog on Saturday, although there wasn't much to say.

Where was everyone else at this point? Judas, so upset by the events of the day, went back to the priests and confessed his sin against Jesus. He gave back the money. But there was no one left who could help him see the forgiveness offered by Jesus. The priests did not care, they got what they wanted. Jesus was unable to speak to Judas, and the disciples were scared and hiding. So, Judas did the only thing he felt he could do. He committed suicide to end the pain.

The disciples spent that day in fear and confusion. They hid from the world and mourned the loss of their beloved teacher and companion. Can you imagine the things they must have thought about, and talked about? Who was Jesus? Why did He die? Why did we spend these years following Him? What will happen to us? Had we truly wasted three years of our lives? Is this really the end?

We, too, consider these questions as we journey with Jesus, particularly at times of sorrow and distress. Why me, why now, why this? Is this really the end?

A Fictional Account of the Passion

I am posting a fictional account of the Crucifixion that I wrote several years ago for this Good Friday evening. I pray it is a blessing to you.

Wow, it has been an incredible night. I don't even know how we got to the point where we are now, but I am standing at the foot of a cross. My rabbi, my Lord Jesus is hanging there.

It all started so great. Jesus and all His friends, including me, were gathered here in Jerusalem for the Passover. We were having such a good time, plenty of food and drink. Then Jesus got really strange, talking about leaving us, about how people would hate us. At one point, He said the bread was his body and the wine was His blood. What was that all about?

Jesus always did talk really deep. He knew so much about God, but most of what He said went right over my head. And He did such amazing things. He healed sick people and cast out demons. He even raised Lazarus from the dead just a few days ago. He fed people and made them feel safe. He even forgave people of their sins. We desperately wanted a king, someone to deliver us from the Romans, but He spent so much time talking about another world.

Suddenly during the dinner, Judas left. I can't say I ever really liked Judas. He was always a bit high-strung and I did not trust him. We didn't understand why he would go away at that moment. Jesus gave him some bread and whispered in his ear, then Judas got up and walked out, right in the middle of dinner!

After the supper, we went to a garden. Jesus wanted to pray and we often went to this garden because it was quiet and away from the crowds. Jesus spent so much time in prayer, talking to God just like a child would talk with a parent. He asked us to keep watch while he prayed. I watched Him for a little while. He knelt there, so still, so intense. But it was getting late and you know what kind of effect a big meal has on a body. I just shut my eyes for a moment. I wasn't the only one; we all fell asleep. Jesus got so upset that we couldn't stay awake for Him. We were exhausted after all that we had been doing and the air was so cool and calm. We often slept outside since we were always traveling to new towns to tell people about God. Besides, it was just another night, right?

But then Judas came back as suddenly as he left. He walked right up to Jesus and kissed Him. Judas was followed by a company of Roman soldiers and a bunch of those religious folk from Jerusalem. Jesus talked about them a lot. He even got into a discussion with them on Tuesday, when they tried to trick Him. He beat them at their own game, and now they are mad. But why the Romans, why the weapons? Had we really done something wrong? I have to admit that I was getting pretty scared.

We were not going down without a fight, so someone drew a sword. In the struggle, a Roman guard was hurt - his ear was cut. Jesus stopped the fighting and told us to put away the sword. And then Jesus healed the man. Can you believe that He would do that? They wanted to take Him away, perhaps even to His death, but Jesus showed him mercy by healing his ear and then went willingly with the soldiers. We followed as best we could and tried to stay near Jesus, but there was such a great crowd that it was hard to see what was happening. We heard that Jesus was taken before some sort of court and that He just stood there. People were lying about Him and saying all sorts of bad things, but He did not even try to defend Himself.

They took Jesus before Pontius Pilate. When Pilate questioned Him, Jesus talked about another world again. Doesn't He know what's at stake?

Jesus looked so sad, so hurt. He was always such a strong, healthy guy, but He looked beaten and dirty.

Pilate didn't want to deal with this case. He couldn't convict Jesus of anything according to the law and he saw no reason to crucify Him. But the crowd was getting out of control and there was talk of wanting Him dead. DEAD! Pilate gave us a choice of a prisoner to be freed for Passover - Jesus or Barabbas. I don't know how it happened, but the crowd chose Barabbas. He was a murderer! Jesus did nothing but talk about love and making things right. I just don't understand all this.

I don't know where the other disciples were; we had gotten separated in the confusion. We were all so afraid. We wanted to be with Jesus, but we hid in the crowd, afraid to be recognized as one of His disciples. I heard that Peter even said that he didn't know Jesus three times. You know, at the supper last night, Jesus said that Peter would deny Him three times before the rooster crowed, but we couldn't believe it. Peter loved Jesus so much.

When Pilate asked the crowd what he should do about Jesus, people started to yell, "Crucify Him." Crucify Him? What in the world did He do to deserve that? And what will happen to the rest of us? I wanted to go hide, but I couldn't leave my Lord. What will we do? How will we go on? We gave up everything to be with Jesus, and now… and now it is all over.

Now I stand at the base of a cross, seeing Jesus hanging there hurt and suffering. I can't believe we've gotten to this point. What went wrong? What could we have done different? They've made Him look like such a fool. They took His clothes, and divided them among themselves. They put a crown of thorns on His head, and a sign at the top of the cross that says, "This is the King of the Jews."

The crowd is taunting Jesus. "Hey, King of the Jews, save yourself and we'll believe in you." Even the other prisoners are yelling things at Him. Jesus is saying something but it is so hard to hear. He must be thirsty; someone is giving him some sour wine.

What was that? Can you believe this is happening? Jesus just asked God to forgive them, as if they did not know what they were doing.

"Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" Where have I heard that before? Oh, I remember, it is from one of King David's Psalms... My God, Why have you forsaken Jesus?

Look, the sky is so dark. The earth is quaking. Jesus just said, "It is finished." Does He know it is His time to die? Listen, He says, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit." It is almost as if He has control over His very life.

With a loud cry, my Lord breathed His last breath. A centurion nearby saw what happened and he is terrified, "Surely this was the Son of God!" But now it is too late. It is finished.

Of course, we know that this is not the end. But we will have to wait for Easter to hear the rest of the story.

The Supper

Jesus spent Thursday evening with His disciples in the upper room having a Passover meal.

This is the day many had waited for, the day of Deliverance. Those that surrounded Jesus saw Passover as the ideal time for Him to grasp His kingship. This would have great meaning to the Jews, making a connection to Moses and the deliverance out of slavery from Egypt. The Messiah was to come and save the people, so throughout the week as Passover grew near, the people were expectant for something incredible to happen.

The disciples asked Jesus where they were to celebrate the Passover feast. As usual, the preparation was in the hands of God, and Jesus gave them instructions – where to go, who to see. As the evening drew close, the disciples gathered in the upper room, ready to celebrate this meaningful night with their Lord.

The evening did not go as they’d hoped. Rather than speak about being a king, Jesus spoke of being a servant. He spoke of death, betrayal and denial. Peter, as usual, made great claims of his love for Jesus and his willingness to even die. Jesus told him that he would, that very evening, deny Him three times. Jesus knew Judas was the betrayer, and was clearly in control as He told Judas to do the task quickly. The disciples were confused by the words of Jesus, and became agitated as the vision they had of a kingdom began to fall apart before their eyes.

Even in the midst of betrayal and denial, Jesus comforted His disciples. He promised them the Holy Spirit, that they might continue His work after His death. He established a new covenant with the people, one of life, hope and remembrance.

John tells us that Jesus got up during the feast and got a bowl of water. He went around the table washing His disciples' feet. It was a poignant moment, a teaching moment. Jesus was telling them that they were called to be servants and He gave them a new commandment. "Love one another." That love is not just a love with words, but a love with deeds. He was their Lord and Teacher, but He was willing to lower Himself to a humble place to do the work of a slave. They were called to do the same. "The student is not greater than the teacher," He said.

Jesus also gave them a new covenant. During the dinner, He took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, giving it to His disciples. "This is my body, given for you." Then, after the supper, He took the cup, blessed it and gave it to His disciples. "This is my blood, given for you." He told them that whenever they should share the bread and the cup often, in remembrance of Him. We still join in that feast, along with the first disciples and all the Christians from every time and place. It is a foretaste of the feast to come. It is a glimpse of the Promise of eternal life. In that day we will share an even greater feast, but as we gather together and share the sacrament, we escape time and place to gather with all the saints in remembrance of Christ Jesus. At that brief moment in time, we embrace the timelessness of God's promises and see what we will enjoy when we share in His Glory.